Finally watched Ironman! HAHA! It was so....hahaha! I really dont know what to say...it was good and bad at some parts...Tony Stark is so totally not that egoistic lol...They made a hero look pathetic now that i really have to give the director thumbs up for ...finally a hero that cant save himself then throws himself to a wave of self destruction:)
BUT they used Captain America's shield as a prop! pfft. Tony Stark was CA best friend! CA gave him everything when he died! TS killed Captain America! And he used Captain America's shield! Like it meant nothing! This is an outrage im damn pissed....so many things that made me just LMAO. The cliche bits like the villian walking out of the fire...blah blah...HAHAHA!!
but then again the special effects was like totally awesome...NO DENYING everything was so so COOL LAH!!!!
The dialogue was so hilarious! Very well written witty and refreshing. The actors did a great job...although i think Samuel L Jackson could have been of better use...but yeah enjoyed myself :)
Some kid in the theater went "woah his house is so nice" or something close to that! hahaha! I just burst out laughing haha! so adorable. I Confess I Messed Up
12:13 AM
Kang Shin Woo oppa i know how you feel...If you cant hug or hold her when she cries. Watching someone else hug and hold her instead. If you cant kiss her its okay because you happy to just be able to pat her head and to see her smile...She doesnt and wont fall for you...you know that... :( she is in love with Hwang Tae Kyung oppa! Why are you wasting your time...and making me cry so much for you!
....Jung Yong Hwa oppa you can pat my head anytime!!! *cry*
Okay i admit im officailly you're beautiful crazy.
drink drank drunk. I feel so stupid for drinking so much...drinking on an empty stomach...coming home drunk...coming home with the most horrible headache and waking up feeling so so sleepy...being stopped by the police...puking so so much. Stupid me. I feel worse than before... What was i thinking wanting to get so wasted. And for what? Drown everything? How can i make something that gets worse everyday disappear? All i did was drown myself in puke. Stupid me.
At least i slept last night. Without thinking about anything.
I Confess I Messed Up
8:30 PM
Wah it really just hit me as i was thinking of what to write for you...I really really am going to miss you...Argh!!! You are going to fly to some far away place!!! and meet far away people!! and of course buy me things from that far away land!!! You are going to have so much fun! and leave me here...in stupid singapore! You are going to shop shop shop!! Hahaha!! I bet you and your mom will go crazy! haha!
Bleh...till you come back from the far away place im really going to be damn sad...I wont be able to see you on facebook! or online!! for so long!! Work is gonna suck without your text messages!! Ai yoh!! Dont go pls!!
okok....im going to continue to write you that special something :) I hope you like what i write lol!! Its going to be damn funny! read it when your legs get numb on the plane or or!! if you have to shit on the plane! LOL! Shut up! I know its a short journey...hehehe! I just hope you will love it :)! DONT READ TILL YOU GET ON THE PLANE! hehehe!!
Someone once told me its good to have someone to miss because then you know how important that person is to you! Hehe!! Come back fast lover!!! Enjoy yourself!! Please dont get lost! :( hahaha!! Luv you lots! I Confess I Messed Up
12:40 AM
...theres no point to live anymore...Why the f*ck should i care about the world...Just argh! i just wanna get out of this bullcrap that i totally do not deserve i dont freaking hell deserve all this shit! I dont! I couldnt even clear my head for drama...argh! I FEEL SO DEAD! MY BRAINS ARE LIKE F*CKED! Why me! Why am i the one who gets all the shit?! ALL THE TIME! Do i look like a shit magnet? Does it say on my forehead shit please come to me?! Just f*ck and leave me. Just use me USE ME! Take my soul take everything from me! and then forget all about me? Treat me like im nothing...like i did freaking nothing! All the sacrifices i made!! All the weight im loosing is because of this! And what do i get out of it all...? MORE PAIN! MORE SHIT. F*ck this world! Its so so unfair!
Everything coming at me at once...i feel like a walking zombie who needs to make herself happy or she would drive herself mad...maybe im already mad?
I just wanna go somewhere and scream my lungs out...but i have nothing to scream...i have no more motivation...i just wanna sleep and sleep. All i can do is pray.... I Confess I Messed Up
11:01 PM
Woah was watching this vid...the comments are EPIC mean man! Sandara so shouldnt be hated because she is not from korea...this is mean...!! "Sandara Fuck is a fuckin Filipino dwarf from cursed islands." Woah! I seriously think korean people are freaking mental sometimes....Gosh! I hope they dont kill her... :(
Anyways i still love how korea does their adverts man! SG should so do the same! Have a 6 mins advert! LOL! awesome.
I Confess I Messed Up
12:43 AM
SO! I just realised AHHHHH!!! i need a new schedule book! Because of some people....i agreed to it anyways...milo spilled in my bag! and now everything has milo stains! and my spongebob schedule book has a really stinky rotting milky smell eeeewww yucks!
Anyways not impt. My godmother revealed to my mom today that she reads my 16 yr old cuz smses...
firstly i think thats like equal to reading a diary! It EVIL! Secondly...thank God my mom has no idea how to use my phone! anyways i was so surprised by what she said...
She told my mom that one of the smses spoke about his ex, he told his friend "i never knew how much i needed her in my life till she was gone, she wants me to change but how am i to change when i dont know what is the problem, i really love her so much." The girl is still in contact with him, telling him that she still loves and stuff. His friends tell him to get over her cuz she is being to demanding...
I was like Woah! You are only 16 dude and you are talking about love...and all that shit...poor guy...no wonder he looked so troubled. He even told me that he was never gonna get into a relationship again...I really wish i could talk to him...but he is never gonna come to me for help...so i hope whoever he goes too helps him. I hope he doesnt take drugs...i dont trust st pats boys :(
Alrights life lesson that i learnt today, im probably not gonna make sense again but here goes.
There are four phases that we go through in life. However we have a choice to stop at 2 and we never get to see the beauty of 3 and 4.
1) ignorance 2) Resentment 3) Acceptance
We all go through this phase of which we are naive and blur...we follow blindly and dont notice the cracks or the problems.
Then time passes...ours eyes are opened up. Knowledge seeps in. Suddenly everything becomes clear like in our faces clear and so we resent. We prove our worth we stand strong, we rebel...we realise that its all bullshit! We are going to fight against it!
However after fighting so hard it gets tiring...Its like a lobster trying to crawl out of a hot pot...it can struggle all it wants to but its still gonna get cooked...We too realise that its either struggle and fight for the rest of our lives and live in the pain and sadness or we learn to accept, harden our hearts and accept things for what they are.
Once we have done that, then only we can continue to the 4th stage.
4) Growth.
All our lessons learnt helps us to appreciate things better. We just continue learning and growing into better people.
Just like life we have four stages we have to go through in life when it comes to technology. Same thing :)
blog->facebook->twitter->tumblr
We are naive...start out with a blog...we find out there is facebook! and so we go straight to facebook! Then facebook makes all these privacy changes...we resent and rebel! either we stop at facebook and give up or we accept and settle for twitter! Once we have twittered we move to tumblr.
We will naturally appreaciate tumblr more because of all the struggles we go through with blogspot, facebook, and twitter...there is just no turning back... :)
I Confess I Messed Up
11:16 PM
I have been staring at this page for the longest time now...i have so much to write but everytime i start i backspace it all back. I guess i should start writing now since its already 2.15am. I have to start writing...or should i just leave it blank.
Out of everything that happened today...i think im gonna write about what has been bothering me for so so long.
Who am i??? I have changed so much i dont recognise myself anymore. Who i used to be. Who i really miss.
I got smses from my lovers today and they reminded me who i was. Who sarah jane was to them.
To them I am this...(beware it may sound cocky hahahaha!)
Strong selfless confident awesome crazy as hell person that knew fully well that maths was EVIL! I am that weird and blur girl who always sits at the back of class and sleeps. I am that random girl who reads random facts and tell them all in class and gets my friends to laugh so hard the teacher sends them out of class. I am that girl who love Shakespear and romance and everything mystery. I watch horror DVDs so i could have an excuse to bring my blanket out to the couch. I am the girl who reads between the lines. I am that girl who doesnt give a shit if you are mean to me. I understand every little riddle. I am the girl who always has to explain the story after the movie ends. I am the girl who gets laughed at for doing stupid things. I am that girl who never wanted attention but just wanted to be accepted. I am that girl who knew nothing, always asking "where is that place?" "what is that?".
I am the girl who always failed malay and when i pass i would go scream. I am that girl who got a song created for her on her bday...even though every present i got was obviously not planned. HAHA! I am that girl who gets teased at every outing but just laughs it off. I am that girl they never think to throw into the pool. I am that girl they always forget to invite and it never bothered me. I am that girl who never cried because i lost something...because i knew whatever that was important in my life...i was never going to lose it. I havent. I AM ME! The girl with three names! ...someone who is mentally unstable and fun and super dirty minded and always made people irritated hahaha! I am the girl who HATES Vitagen.
WE ARE just a bunch of crazy baboons. The world is our forest...no matter how weird that sounds hahaha! I really really miss you guys so so much. I hate this world i am in right now. I just wanna be me again...!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Things change...
Now i dont know what i am anymore.
Wow 3.10am superb. I Confess I Messed Up
2:15 AM
All in good time...all in good time...
Time passes so fast...it was so slow at first but then when you look back you realise WOW. Time is an odd thing. Someone once told me in relationships, space doesnt make the heart fonder it makes the heart wonder. They say time helps to forget, to heal to grow. Its not true. Time just gives everyone an excuse. A way out to telling themselves that the hurt will go away eventually. We just have to wait for the right moment. Well waiting is painful and waiting is time. Ironic.
Time allows you to change, to be a different person. It never said time will help you be a BETTER person.
Money is not the root of all evil. Its time. We depend so much on time...we dont realise it.
Time passes by too fast, my pencil is close to its end, soon time will take it away.
Time is not going to help anyone. Its only ourselves that we must depend on. Only when we let go on our dependence of time will we learn to be free. Free to be happy.
And again i dont make sense. I Confess I Messed Up
2:27 AM
so confused....seriously dont know how to feel right now...cant seem to go sleep....cant seem to stop thinking.... I Confess I Messed Up
1:10 AM
I tried my best, so dont go all bitchy on me lah...im not good i know...im really doing my absolute best. I know you have something against me...im sorry i told you off that day....but i really needed to tell you off. I just need all the support i can get and you are not helping me at all by laughing and not helping out with anything, telling others that you dont wanna come cuz im bitchy? Dude...i so wasnt bitchy, you havent seen me bitchy lah okay...and disturbing the session...its just so immature. So just man up and stop it. Please....
hmmm....coming home early helped a lot. Now i need to get off the com. -.-" I Confess I Messed Up
10:32 PM
You came like a thief and stole my heart. ITADETWABSETLG.
I have another drama session 2morrow. :( need ideas...
Jo and Carol and HT gave me this game with chairs...LOL took them the whole walk from united square to the MRT to explain to me the game...and i still didnt get it! LOL i swear im just a huge embarrassment!
And they kept laughing at me........! Chicken rice was shiokness!! Lav kept screaming hokien vulgarities hahahah!! I swear the shop name sounds like a vulgarity! Wan Naa Kee... HAHAHA!
B&J was awesome as usual! HT promised to bring me to Udders! So i have two promises now! Manhattan fish market with Gabs and Udders with HT :)
soooo sleeepy now....BUT TOO HAPPY!!!! All good things happening around me :) HAHAHAHA!!!! Feeling awesome!
baby...cant you see what is happening to you? loooove alphabeat! hehe. I Confess I Messed Up
12:10 AM
You turn me upside down whenever you are around....
I Confess I Messed Up
1:13 AM
a whole nights talk about demonic possesions and exorcisms and miracles..... seriously dont know if i can sleep tonight. I Confess I Messed Up
11:53 PM
You seem to be confused the boy is mine.
Im feeling so so cheated!
Its not fair!!! omg omg omg!!! NO WAY!! ITS SO SO NOT FAIR! WHY!!!!
I really thought damon and elena would get together!!! and when they kissed i tot to myself YESSSSAAAAAHHHHH FINALLY! like the other guy gets that perfect girl! The whole world is alright again! Like the other guy soooooo deserves the girl anyway! He is so imperfect that its perfect....SWOOONSSSS
LOL!!!! pfft. then elena turns out to be katherine doubling as elena....WONDERFUL! Life sucks! :)
Hehehehe had the most amazing bus ride today! I had to wait for 20 mins for the bus...BUT the route was just awesome! It was all huge houses and pretty condos....and when the houses are lighted up you can see IN lol! The houses were so pretty! some were freaky as hell! LOL but it was so so nice!!! i couldnt choose which side to stare at the left or the right so i kept turning my head back and forth! lol okok i know im an idiot. Hahahaha! but i love bus rides hehehe.
Plaza Sing was AWESOME. I got 2 pretty fans from daiso! Added a whole lot of calories from eating a whole slice of choc indulgence! I saw many cuuuuutttteeee pig keychains that i HAVE to buy! Piggy Piggy!!! im coming for you!! pink little cute thing-a-lings hehe...
I saw Incredible headphones and earphones that just made me so high i think i scared 10 off lol!!! AHHHHH!!! im gonna get new earphones!! I saw this lovely purple ones!!! IM GETTING IT!!! i have too!!! piglet and earphones...and maybe a lunch box for added bonus! lol oh oh!! and a new dress for symphonia! :) new heels tooo....hmmmm....
HAHAHAHAHAHA 2morrow i have to go for mpc and meet derrick(who i doubt will come)...cuz my mom says that i should be a good girl...oh oh and that "he is a really nice guy always follows his parents to mpc" Ai yoh....wait till i get derrick to show her the hot sexy girls he has been dating...then maybe my mom will change her mind! lol!! "sarah... ruben and rainer also will be there" I hate it when she brings up the guys....i feel like telling her "mom this dudes and i used to play football, barbie dolls, catch spiders and play hide and seek in empty classrooms together...(omg i rmb there was once we tied a handkerchief to the flagpole and raise it up!!! LOL!! omg loooong time ago!) there is no way we will ever get together!" But nah...i shall be a good girl and follow them to mpc...have a good lunch as they promised and go for prayers...again...at night :) and fall asleep again...HAHA!
My godma is out at some tai tai resort at ecp...i shall ask her what its like tomorrow cant wait :)
All i want is jesse's girl. I Confess I Messed Up
1:14 AM
Yesterday was the shittiest day ever...Lack of sleep + Horrible day at work + nightmarish porn from H + "Other" things. hmmmm....its no more a "why do i even bother" I think since its been so long...and i understand things now( I think i do...)
...it becomes more of "oh okay it happened again...okay then...i understand :)" Keep smilling :)
Im so happy i got to sleeep today!!! My mom woke me up at 10.30 and told me it was already 12...LOL.
She thinks im stupid but i know her tricks! pfft. So i just went back to sleeeep. Then she played all her fav songs out loud...Alias, alan parsons project, eddie money, the bangles, the osmonds, the roxette! Bleh...She and my grandma were shouting at each other again...just their normal morning conversations...
So when i finally woke up at 12. (Im very proud of myself by the way HAHAHA!)
I was interrogated by the two. They asked how i could sleep with the music playing out loud?? Bitches really...so i named all the songs that were playing, the name of the band and tittle and even sang the some of the lyrics to them. LOL. Then i got scolded cause if i could hear and remember the songs which naturally meant i was wide awake....LOL! So evil lah the both of them hmph! I shall invest in ear plugs next time.
Going to meet 10 soon! Going to have CAKE at PS!
Hehehe...she will do all the talking and i will do all the listening as usual...i like...hehe :) I honestly cant wait to hear her voice and see her smile :)
Suddenly Its Clear. I Confess I Messed Up
1:38 PM
Tired. Honestly enough is enough. Stop it already. Im not your punching bag. I have my limits.
Leave me the hell alone. Just leave me alone! I Confess I Messed Up
11:49 PM
im scared of you, and scared for you. I Confess I Messed Up
5:23 PM
HAHAHA!!! just made my day! I Confess I Messed Up
4:08 PM
I got my MC...phew...i tot i would never to be able to leave home.
I LOVE SLEEP. I WISH I CAN SLEEP FOR 12 HRS A DAY :)
Met up with my peeps today! Had so much fun!! Im so happy! Took my mind of things!
But came home and have to face reality again...ai yah...sighs...why is life so freaking irritating. I just want to rewind, cut and delete. JUST WANT TO DELETE EVERYTHING. Maybe that way...
oh wells. I Confess I Messed Up
12:31 AM
Vomit vomit vomit. It never ends.
I have no idea what's wrong with me.....I'm so scared I don't know why I can't sleep I can't eat....I can barely breathe. I cold sweat. My head feels so light, it's spinning........ it's like I'm about to pass out soon but I can't seem to lie down without feeling like puking. so I just cry.
Anyways pls don't hate me for doing this.... I know you hate it when i do this. But i just wanna say I really love you... I luv luv luv you!!! I know you are hurting inside. I know tt something or someone is hurting you but you don't want to admit it. I know you have so much to say! So do I! You mean the whole world to me! I never got the chance to tell you this but after today, I realised how impt you are in my poly life! I just wanna say I'm sorry for doing everything wrong...Or not good enough for you. All the time...although I still don't know what I do to make you so pissed with me....I won't do it anymore, I will change everything. Become someone more mature and less me...I really miss you so much....All I need is you to make me laugh and all your naggings! I miss your naggings!! I really cannot survive this world without you! Thanks for everything! Thanks for always being there for me when I needed you! See you this sat! :) make sure you put your Etbr away :) I Confess I Messed Up
12:50 AM
I hate how I'm feeling so lost.....I have so much to do.... I can't believe I didn't see the email....
Got nagged by my mom on mothers day :( She was so pissed with me. She became so emotional only because she wanted to watch football so badly today which is technically her birthday and after trying everything our only option was to watch the match at some cofeeshop or something and my dad refused. She is so dissapointed. :( I too am disappointed... I was so excited asking gabby stuff and everything.
I hate being all excited about something and then it doesn't go the way you tot it would...Especially how hard I worked for it... Bringing the tv from the room blah blah..... Feeling sucks. Oh wells....I lost 3 kg from all the vomitting :) yay:) I Confess I Messed Up
11:11 PM
Down to the last. I Confess I Messed Up
1:22 AM
one. one. one.
Way too much for me to handle. Im one person, im not superhuman. I have feelings. My heart feels so heavy and painful. Im getting the strongest urge to cry. I just cant handle anymore.
I hate you.
And why is there another dude? Why didnt you tell me there was someone else?! Why didnt you say that there was a third party!! I am so angry with you!
There is always another dude...
If you are reading this. And you will. Move on. I dont want to nag. No matter how hard it is you have too. Its not that difficult once you come to realise it just wasnt meant to be. Stop the drinking the smoking and the gaming. I know she was amazing. I know you felt she was the one. She doesnt deserve you, throwing hints and all that... making you fall so deeply for her. Its bitchy and not worth it. Dont wait for her. There is just no point waiting. She clearly doesnt want you back. Stop telling me that you are going to wait. She is older anyways so thats why she probably went for the older one. More stable, more mature...i really dont know but girls are like that. Pls for everyones sake stop pining over her pls...It hurts every single one of us to see you like this. I need you back dude. We need you back! We know you can do this without hurting yourself. Pls just try.
Too much going on. I Confess I Messed Up
12:49 AM
hehehe. walked into seoul garden and the first thing I saw was sarah making out with her bf...lol....had to wait till they were done before I could pretend tt I didn't see them and wave lol! they left after lol....so funny!!!
incredible night. can't wait for 2morrow and next tues!!! I Confess I Messed Up
12:35 AM
i know now. I Confess I Messed Up
4:57 PM
May the 4th be with you LOL! One day too late damn. I Confess I Messed Up
4:45 PM
LOL! I Confess I Messed Up
4:27 PM
Tired. Brain Dead. I Confess I Messed Up
1:55 PM
My Awesome Life. I Confess I Messed Up
1:32 AM
i dont have to complain anymore, because whatever i used to complain about is not in my life anymore :) HAHAHAHA!!! I Confess I Messed Up
4:35 PM
sick. I Confess I Messed Up
10:14 PM
i need to stop. I Confess I Messed Up
12:27 AM
finally finished with all ten eps!
i laughed cried laughed and cried again.
it was all worth it.
the last and first kiss was epic.
soooooo nice :) I Confess I Messed Up
10:58 PM
just finished my cup of cofee....now feeling super sleeeeppppyyyy...yawns. had a very very very tiring and irritating day at work. my mom is sick so my parents cancelled their plans....and my hair got burnt by....pfft. nadeen. took a lighter at lit my hair. and he tot it was funny. argh my scalp hurts now...its probably burnt too! argh my hair just dropped off in pieces! and you ask why im overreacting?? duh nadeen... cuz I was in pain! and you bloody burnt my hair! and you made me cry at auditions...I mean for fishcurry sake! I lost my phone stop being so bloody insensitive!!! argh! thank you HG, A and H for listening to my rants :) so yeah tts my day :)wheeeee now having a really bad tummy ache...must be all the negative energy...nights I Confess I Messed Up
1:44 AM