its all on the surface
hahahahaha!!!! so i decided to read my old posts!! hahaha i used to be so happy then!! most of my posts are NOT about sadness, grief, pain trivial stuff...nothing!
Everything was about school and how fun it was!!! and how i am always so easily impressed with anything!! i never knew anything! oblivious to my surroundings!!
the style of my writing was so different!! hahahaha!! its funny! now im writing so weirdly as in...the words i use...in fact when i read my old posts its like a part of me had changed...moved away...gone....matured?
hahaha dont know if its a good thing? but its definitely really surprising!
(hmmm.....my coffee is good....)
i even wrote this post about a guy i liked? about wanting to love him? really weird cuz i dont remember ever liking a guy! hahaha i read the post and my mind was full of question marks!! hahaha!! So who was the guy? anyways...school has also changed me i guess
relationship with friends...homework(i packed my notes!! :D)...lack of sleep...hot sun!!! HOT SUN has fried my brains!!!
i want to be a kid again!! and run around and play kites and mushroom!! hahaha my mom and i once tied a plastic bag to a string and flew it at my balcony!! hahaha it was so cool!!
BUT no i cant!!! i have to face this harsh reality...of lies, perverts and assholes.
I was on the train and standing in front of the door and i could see my reflection on the glass...it struck me that i could make a choice, to continue to stare at my reflection or to look through my reflection. I chose to look through my reflection but somehow i couldnt keep my eyes focus and kept switching back at my reflection.
hahahahaha!!! it may seem like just a stupid story but its as though looking through myself, my real self and my soul, was so difficult that i settled for the easier less strenuous to the eye option, i settled to just leave it at the surface. Afraid of what i might see.
hahahaha!! okok yeah i know...all this from a bloody MRT ride??
(finished my yummy coffee now off to my lovely warm bed) I Confess I Messed Up
10:10 PM
awkward
i have a post written about you...i just dont know what to do with it... I Confess I Messed Up
6:51 PM
WOW class gathering was so incredibly fun! hahaha! i was the only one talking SO MUCH lol! i bet everyone was just laughing to make me happy hahaha! analysed a lot of people...a lot of things i didnt want to say...but yeah...its better that they didnt know...
anyways i am totally screwed for german club!! argh!! so much to practice yet so little time!!
hahaha! oh yeah...and i was on the train with a member and her eng was really bad...non of us could understand each other hahaha!! so staying in yishun is like so awesome! you can get out of awkward conversations hahaha!! i just zoomed out of the train as fast as i could!!
and on the way home i saw this really cute guy!!! so cute!! and my dad got me a 40 dollar bag!! its really pretty!! hehehe! okok bb... I Confess I Messed Up
9:48 PM
Les Miserables!!
I kept hearing about love today...WEIRD!! If it was'nt displayed in front of me, it was told to me or expressed to me in some (irritating) way...I MEAN COME ON ALREADY...
AND why is love so sad!! why is it so...not what you imagined it to be...what they potray it to be...!! Its actually the worst thing you would want to experience! and yet everyone goes through it one way or another...I DONT WANT TO!! look at ren and kyouko!! Unrequited love!!
And i had to stumble on this song!!! it really the last draw! but the song was so sad!! i had to post it up...LOVES... :D :D (helen pls learn to play this song!)
So anyways i had the most fun practical today! cuz helen wasnt my partner!! hahaha or she would be breathing down my neck opps...haha! Nah...it wasnt that...it was actually the fact that it was only the 6 of us...NOT THE WHOLE CLASS and everything went really smoothly...WE JUST WHACKED ALL THE SOLUTIONS!!! hehe it was really funny!! We were like oh shit acid spill quickly wash your hands!!
i havent had so much fun since year one...
Today was a really cold day!! SHIVER (rainy days and monday always get me down...carpenters hehe...) but yet the ice cream man was outside our school!! i dont get it!! why is he always there on a cold day!!?? anyways i still got ice cream hehe!! and also had ice blend mocha! I know im just awesome!
Was thinking about sleeping but ended up watching glee...ohoh talk about shows!!! i want to watch paranomal activity and 2012!! argh!! cant wait till i have the time!! and i have reports due this week!!
Oh and i cant wait till im done cleaning my room up! its looks like a tornado just went over it! and ive been sleeping on debris...so it all has to be cleared up!! (or thrown :[ ) my dad however would be giving me 20000 minus 2 zeros of course!! to revamp my room!! yippeee!! till then i have to suffer cleaning!! BOOHOO!!
maybe i like you. I Confess I Messed Up
6:46 PM
hahaha i cant believe i did this....its so funny!!! helen did it too lol!!! I Confess I Messed Up
10:42 PM
truth
i dont like doing what i have been made to do, i dont like the person im working with...only because she is a bitch...i mean seriously i understand i need constructive critisism...but dont insult me...i know im bad...but just dont do it like that...belittle me and argh!! F U!!! She always does this to me...im trying my best...it may not look like it...but this is my best already...argh!! i hate this so much!! i knew i wouldnt be able to do it...why am i still doing it...and you know i didnt want this...so why do you still insult me like that...insulting me as though i wasnt just in front of you.
im sorry that im not in your callibre...honestly i dont want to be. I dont want to be stuck up and poser like you asswipe.
the end. (another one of sj's rantings) I Confess I Messed Up
12:29 AM