Is it still me that makes you sweat?

Monday, September 29, 2008

sometimes i just hate my parents!! like really hate!! they are just so irritating!! so insensitive!!

my mom video taped my greatgrandmothers funeral...and was playing on the com in the living room loudly! and i told can you pls stop because i dont want to see it..it will just remind me of today and all...and she was like "why?....its so beautiful...why you dont want to see??" then she turned to my dad and my dad understood how i felt..."why dont we just watch the tv show 1st"
but she just continued playing video after video scene after scene... she even asked me to transfer the video to my laptop so she can show my relatives...i mean what part of i cant take it dont she understand!!!!! she wants to put it in MY laptop!! the thing i spend the most time with....clossing my ears didnt work so i asked her why she has to watch it now cant she watch it like on a day when im not around? im always not around anyway....all she did was to act innocent and ask "why?...im just looking at how beautiful it is..." and i was like wtr??

she pushed me to the extent i had to escape to my room...and then she complained to my grandmother about me...or something like tt i cant think anymore cant rmb im too angry and emotional!! argh!! she just doesnt understand sometimes!! its like she has no heart!!! and my dad can just listen to her...he didnt even care!!

the worst part im crying now and i want so much for them to come support me but they are outside admirring the work of the new digital camera!!!

i dont understand make me understand!!!!!

I Confess I Messed Up
11:47 PM

Sunday, September 28, 2008
i fear i might break

so today...well 2morrow will be the last night before the funeral....i miss her so much...i dont feel it when im around her but she will eventually be leaving us entirely soon....and tt soon is 24+ hours away...

today we sang the hymn mother of mine...gosh!! i so hate the song now! i dont want to leave her i dont want her to go! i want her to be with us forever! i want to eat her cakes and her pineapple tarts and her great cooking! i want to hear her voice! i want her to scream and shout at me and scold me! i want to switch on sun tv for her and ask her if its to loud or ask her to translate for me....I Want Her BACK!

but i cant i cant...nenek kenape!! nek...we miss you nek! why you leave us nek...what about aunty lily and uncle job what about all of us! he doesnt understand tt you are gone...and aunty lily...blind....she could not see your last moments...she could not cry but yet the tears she shed as i told her your body has left the home....the pain and fear i felt as i held her tight and explained to her your departure...HOW! HOW! are we going to explain to her tt its your last day...tt your coffin will be pushed in and as we finish the last decade of the rosary you will be gone.

you have to go...its your time...you have suffered enough and so now, you will reap your rewards in heaven. You will meet your brother. Its not a goodbye, but we will see you when the time comes...say hello to tata and kong kong for me...and greattata also....goodbye for now.

I Confess I Messed Up
12:03 AM

Saturday, September 27, 2008

i decided to blog today...
im on my way to the wake now...everyday i go i get more atached to the body....i think of it as nothing...and im happy cuz technically she is with us but she is just sleeping....but then....when she leaves when she finally leaves when they get that stupid robot to put her coffin into hot burning oven what am i going to do...
argh my mom's scolding me now got to go...

I Confess I Messed Up
10:16 AM

Friday, September 19, 2008
outing

haha!! so i have lots to do...im very busy now!! argh!! stress!! very stress!!

so i went out today..and gave helen her present...btw...helen...the bushy bow thing on the top...my mom made it herself hahaha!!

had so much fun with you guys!! i love going out with you all my feet hurts though but i still love it!! haha!! and i spent so much...lol...haha!! i spent 10.80 on food!! haha and i ate 2 slices of pizza and one wing and a bowl of soup! haha!! but it was well worth it...with the company and all!!

bought 2 reusable bags...yay!! save the earth!! and i also watched this doc about elephants going on a rampage killing cattle and rhino...it was so interesting...to know why they do it and all...so sad really...elephants can remember trauma...the mesai have been killing their calf or like their mothers so they take revenge and kill the mesai live stock...and then its an on going thing...so sad really...and like they kill the rhino cuz they tot tt they were its mate! but its not so when the rhino avoids its advances...it gets angry cuz of the high tetosterone and becomes violent and kills the rhino!!
whatelse..talked bout guys again...haha!! tts all we do... :D

I Confess I Messed Up
12:10 AM

Friday, September 12, 2008
Quiz

Questions for quiz!

question N1 : The person who tagged you is?

HY!!

question N2 : Your relationshiip with him/her?

LOVERS! haha no...goodie frendies

question N3 : Your 5 impressions of him/her?

hmm...well...although skinny, she is strong, responsible, kind, speaks when feels like it and is a SHOPPERHOLIC!

question N4 : The most memorable thinq he/she has done for you?

MAYDAY PARADE ALBUM!! and like sending me all the cool songs!!

question N5 : The most memorable thing he/she said to you?

"*laughs**high*" "very hot right?" hehe..she is always talking bout how hot alex evans is!! hehe...

question N6 : If he/she becomes ur lover you would ?

NEVER!! haha even if she would be...haha she is not my type...lol!! to quiet!! although...i like someone to bully...hehe! ;)

questions N7 : If he/ she becomes ur lover , she needs to improve on?

i dont like this question...haha! i mean...just say i think she is the perfect person! and i still think she has something to improve on....its like a deathwish... "HY i love everything about you...but i think you need to bigger boobs"???

question N8 : If he /she becomes ur enemy you will ..

TOUCHWOOD!! haha!! i would be really sad!! to lose such a good fren!!! :.(

question N9 : If he / she becomes ur enemy the reason would be?

hmm.....backstab me?? haha!! honestly i have every reason to hate her now!

1) f%^$ing skinny

2) gorgeous

3) goes shopping err...everyday??? LUCKY

4) Found true love!!

5) Nice hair!!

i can go on and on....hehe...but i love her too much to ever dislike her :) i think friendship is so much more important than anything else...no matter what! i can work around the problem... :D

question N10 : The most desired thing u want for him/her will be?

i want her to be happy!!!

question N11 : Your overall impression of him/her will be?

haha why this qns again?? err...she is like a pomegranate, open her hard exterior and individual sweet sacks appear...haha!! you get to taste abit of sweetness whenever you are around her....and there are so many seeds, her love will never run out....LOL!!! and red, the colour of courage! she is very courages...hehe... :D

question N12 : How do u think other people will feel about you?

haha i dk?? OFCOURSE THEY WILL love ME!!

question N13 : The characters you love about urself is ?

im a dreamer....i love tt i can just sit on a chair facing a busy street...and just daydream...haha!! i consider it quite a talent...hehe

question N14 : The characteristics you hate about urself is ?

im selfish.

question N15 : The most ideal person you want to be?

ALEXIS BLADDEL!! haha no...no matter what i just want to be myself...

question N16 : For people that care and love you ; what do you wanna say ?

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! i know im a tough person to love and undersatand!! thank you for sticking around and tolerating my nonsense!! :D

questions N17 : Pass this quiz onto 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about you? i cant pass this too anyone!!! lol!! and i realised i cant think of anyone too...

1) erica

2) sarah nat

3) gabby wabby

4) joanne

5) hazel

6) caroline

7) kellyn

8) ah wong

9) sarah fam

10) angeline

N18 : who is 6 having a r/s with?question

haha i dk!! if i recall she is available...but she might already have a stalker...haha

N19 : is number 9 a male/female ?question

Female!

N20 : if number 7 and 10 are together ; would it be a good thing?

tt would be so wrong!!

question N22 : what is number 2 studying about?

mass communications

question N23 : when was the last time u had a chat with Number 3?

smsed last week...?? chat...?? hmm...long time...one month....

question N24 : what kind of music band does number 8 like ?

Blink 182, avenue Q tts all i know... lol

question N25 : does number 1 have any siblings ?

1 sister

question N26 : will you woo number 3 ?

NO!!! haha i want her to woo me... ;)

question N27 : how about number 7 ?

haha!! nope...so weird!!

question N28 : is number 4 single?

i think so..haha!!

question N29 : whats the surname of number 5?

tan

question N30 : Whats the hobby of number 10 ?

no idea...!!?? reading that comic!! haha its with some funny looking boy with a big head haha!! its chinese...

question N31 : does number 5 and 9 get along?

yes

question N32 : Where is number 2 studying ?

same qns? err...studying how to KICKASS!!

question N33 : Talk something casually about number 1 ?

haha!! casual?? err...she is super tall!! and she has nice legs...and she doesnt do instant...

question N34 : Have you tried developing feelings for number 8 ?

NO!!

question N35 : Where does number 9 live ?

dont know...

question N36 : What colour does number 4 like?

haha jo...gosh i know this!! i cant rmb!! i think its lime green!

question N37 : Are number 5 and 1 best friends ?

question N38 : does number 1 have any pets ?

yes...two cats!

question N39 : is number 7 the sexiest person in the world?

err...haha!! no?? lol but she is pretty!! and much skinnier than me...haha and like has so many guys after her...haha!!

question N40 : What is number 10 doing now ?

dreaming about jonathan...haha

tts all?? haha okay then im done yipee!! :D

I Confess I Messed Up
2:48 PM
i dream of her lips on your cheeks

haha!! yay!! blogging again!! this is going to be long! anyways so my mom banned me from the computer today...but naughty me..hehe..sneaking around.... ;)

Im back to music madness!! haha!! i really miss just listening to music!! yay! i dont care i am going to have money to buy my mp4!. Problem : i dont go by allowance....tts the thing. My dad keeps all the money, he only gives me what i need..so MUST study hard so daddy can buy me a ipod... :D

so my aunty has shingles and she keeps calling my mom and me about how painful it is. the most funny part of it was the conversation about medication. she says intervals are supposed to be 6hrs apart cuz panadol is like tt, but she has to take her pill four times a day??? haha she is so funny!! then i was like when did you take your pill?
aunty: at 12
me: what time will your next pill be?
aunty: at 3
me(in mind) : tt is not 6hrs interval???
me to aunty: okaylah good continue...

i know her! Better if i tell her its not 6hrs she will panic and then it will cause more problems haha!! she is so cute!

I also decided tt i am going to have a secret crush haha!! been thinking bout it lately for fun...haha! i cant keep thinking about yesung,he is too far!! :( but yeah and my last crush is like somewhere in the world...i dont even know where he is now...so its also impossible...though i bet he is still super hot now!! haha! i dont even rmb his name...sigh...
i talked to 10 bout it, but she has already found her lover ksw...and HY has her guy...and KH...haha i know she has someone! and Pam she has her Jchou haha! but me...for all i know mr perfect is right in front of me??? yupyup it is!! lappy!! you are my mr perfect! :D

This holidays has allowed me to spend more time with my dad. Weirdly there is so much i dont know about him. His frustrations and his pain. He is always so strong, but to be so responsible, he went through a lot of hardships and heart ache. I am so proud of my father. I am so happy he is MY dad. :)

~i confess i messed up~

I Confess I Messed Up
1:53 PM

Saturday, September 06, 2008
finally

so i woke up this morning and decided to BLOG! haha its been a long time since i have updated...so here it is

so no.1, my tortoise died on thursday...i was eating my lunch and my mom was like "btw turtle died" (we call it turtle)

anyways besides tt i went out a lot haha!! its so fun to have hols but its like you have so much to do you dont know what to start first haha!! I actually feel more pressured now than when i was studying haha!!

okay so now the funny part...i went to follow my mom to the hospital for her scans...and also to visit my greatgrandma...and like i saw these three female interns, and guess what they were talking about!!! while they were holding a thick paperback book titled "2500 cases" they were talking about GUYS!!! haha that proves it!!

you put girls together be it 2 or 10! we will talk about guys haha!!

AND I SAW HANAFFI!! haha i was telling my mom tt my fren is having his attachment here and i was like who knows i might meet him...AND I DID!! haha!!
so funny should have seen his face, he tot i was stalking him or something...

HOSPITAL IS ALSO A GOOD PLACE TO PEOPLE WATCH HAHA!! especially in those small waiting rooms the best is easedropping in conversations!! and also to hybernate in the cold haha!
I even watched baseball games haha NEY YORK YANKEES andTAMPA BAY RAYS! haha!! i think yankees lost btw...7-5 if im not mistaken...hehe... YAY!! haha! they played pretty well though...

it was so nice to meet me frens again and my cuzzy..cant wait to meet up again!! missing you guys!!!

PS: dont ever buy soya ice cream its just no point!

I Confess I Messed Up
12:46 PM